Frank Booth Enjoys a Pabst Blue Ribbon in Heaven

Charming rogue Frank Booth has died. He was 74. The beloved codger, known for such things as carrying around a tank of nitros oxide and kidnapping children to force their mothers to service him sexually, passed away after a battle with prostate cancer.

Close friend Jeffrey Beaumont was quoted as saying, "Why [can't there be more people] like Frank?"

Friends are remembering Mr. Booth as a man who appreciated the music of Roy Orbison as interpreted by pasty, effeminate singers and who was always ready with a quip, like, "Shit, yes, pour the fuckin' beer!"

Mr. Booth sometimes went by the name Dennis Hopper and was a DW2K10 selection of just about everybody except for that moron The Shadow. *sigh*

What You Talkin' 'Bout, Reaper?

Former child star and walking cautionary tale Gary Coleman has died at the age of 42, apparently of shame after one embarrassing TMZ headline after another. Seriously, after a joke campaign for governor of California, an arrest for, let's say, felonious has-beenery and all the other pathetic reasons the former Arnold Drummond has been thrust into the tabloid spotlight over the last decade, I'd say Mr. Coleman deserves this rest. But, just for shits and giggles, let's send a few zingers into the after-life with him.

• Gary Coleman, whose life was as short...as Gary Coleman.
• The Diff'rent Strokes curse has detractors of Charlotte Rae feverishly excited.
  
• A family spokesperson says that Mr. Coleman will be buried in a shoebox out back.
• Mr. Coleman's death, it is being reported, was actually a misguided effort to jumpstart a sequel to The Heavenly Kid.
• A source at the funeral home confirms that Todd Bridges will be killed and buried with Mr. Coleman.

Mr. Coleman's death nets 58 glorious points for Wednesday, Raszul, Messenger of Death, Irish Car Bomb and Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom.