Don't Let the Coffin Lid Hit You in the Ass on the Way Out

Adios, dickhead.

Congrats to Deady Money, You Die and The Oracle for their 20 point score.

What You Talkin' 'Bout, Reaper?

Former child star and walking cautionary tale Gary Coleman has died at the age of 42, apparently of shame after one embarrassing TMZ headline after another. Seriously, after a joke campaign for governor of California, an arrest for, let's say, felonious has-beenery and all the other pathetic reasons the former Arnold Drummond has been thrust into the tabloid spotlight over the last decade, I'd say Mr. Coleman deserves this rest. But, just for shits and giggles, let's send a few zingers into the after-life with him.

• Gary Coleman, whose life was as short...as Gary Coleman.
• The Diff'rent Strokes curse has detractors of Charlotte Rae feverishly excited.
  
• A family spokesperson says that Mr. Coleman will be buried in a shoebox out back.
• Mr. Coleman's death, it is being reported, was actually a misguided effort to jumpstart a sequel to The Heavenly Kid.
• A source at the funeral home confirms that Todd Bridges will be killed and buried with Mr. Coleman.

Mr. Coleman's death nets 58 glorious points for Wednesday, Raszul, Messenger of Death, Irish Car Bomb and Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom.