Reeves and Bullock Vow to Keep Hopper's Hearse Above 50 MPH

OK, so this isn't really a post about Dennis Hopper being dead (though he still is), just a cool headline without a supporting story.  

This post is really a note to say that the scores have finally been updated, and there have been a lot of changes to the leaderboard! 

Notes:  

*Newcomer Irish Car Bomb leads Wednesday by just a senior citizen.  It's still anyone's game, with the always-dangerous CRIPPLER lurking just behind!    ICB and Wed. were both propelled to the top by weekend scores of BOTH Coleman AND Hopper!

*A shout-out to the Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom, who has finally scored for the first time ever in competition (four years?)!  

*The Shadow and Kerberos are the only two players to not have any correct predictions at the 1/3 mark of the competition.   

*Mr. Black was the only person to correctly predict the May demise of Ronnie James "Holy Die-r" Dio.  

*The Return of Roger Mortis slapped a seeing-eye single for 8 points with Ernie Harwell last month.

Check your lists and scores.  If you notice any mistakes, please contact me.  At the time of this writing, I consider all lists and scores to be current and up-to-date.

Big thanks to the Shadow for picking up the writing while I was out of town stifling souls in Charlotte for Grimmorial Day Weekend!

--Grim

Frank Booth Enjoys a Pabst Blue Ribbon in Heaven

Charming rogue Frank Booth has died. He was 74. The beloved codger, known for such things as carrying around a tank of nitros oxide and kidnapping children to force their mothers to service him sexually, passed away after a battle with prostate cancer.

Close friend Jeffrey Beaumont was quoted as saying, "Why [can't there be more people] like Frank?"

Friends are remembering Mr. Booth as a man who appreciated the music of Roy Orbison as interpreted by pasty, effeminate singers and who was always ready with a quip, like, "Shit, yes, pour the fuckin' beer!"

Mr. Booth sometimes went by the name Dennis Hopper and was a DW2K10 selection of just about everybody except for that moron The Shadow. *sigh*

What You Talkin' 'Bout, Reaper?

Former child star and walking cautionary tale Gary Coleman has died at the age of 42, apparently of shame after one embarrassing TMZ headline after another. Seriously, after a joke campaign for governor of California, an arrest for, let's say, felonious has-beenery and all the other pathetic reasons the former Arnold Drummond has been thrust into the tabloid spotlight over the last decade, I'd say Mr. Coleman deserves this rest. But, just for shits and giggles, let's send a few zingers into the after-life with him.

• Gary Coleman, whose life was as short...as Gary Coleman.
• The Diff'rent Strokes curse has detractors of Charlotte Rae feverishly excited.
  
• A family spokesperson says that Mr. Coleman will be buried in a shoebox out back.
• Mr. Coleman's death, it is being reported, was actually a misguided effort to jumpstart a sequel to The Heavenly Kid.
• A source at the funeral home confirms that Todd Bridges will be killed and buried with Mr. Coleman.

Mr. Coleman's death nets 58 glorious points for Wednesday, Raszul, Messenger of Death, Irish Car Bomb and Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom.

"Billy, do you like it when Scraps grabs onto the outside of your coffin and rubs up and down real hard?"

Actor Peter Graves died last week at age 83.

I'm gonna be honest here, I blew my load on the headline.

No DW2K10er had the former Jim Phelps, so those 17 points go unclaimed. This post will self-destruct in ten seconds.

Believe It Or Not, I'm Falling Down Stairs

  

Veteran actor Robert Culp apparently did not own a LifeCall system, as he fell, and then never got up.

Culp was famous to a lot of our readers' parents as Kelly Robinson, the half of the 1960s  I Die I Spy duo that wasn't Bill Cosby. To most DeathWatchers, though, Culp was known as the tough-as-nails FBI Agent Bill Maxwell on the cult classic television series The Greatest American Hero.

Yes, looking back, Culp's co-star, William Katt, looks like a ridiculous jackass with his stupid hair and his impossibly feeble physique.  But the retrospective isn't all bad--my man Culp was a timeless badass.  The kind of guy who it would take an army to bring down.  The kind of guy who wouldn't go down without a--tripping...in...his...home...*sigh*

No DeathWatchers predicted the accidental passing of the 5-times-married 79-year-old.

NBC Cancels "Father Murphy" PERMANENTLY

NFL player-turned-actor Merlin Olsen died today at 69, from mesothelioma given to him by NBC's asbestos.  Nice work, NBC. As if getting rid of Conan didn't make you look bad enough.  At least Conan can come back on another network.

Look, Olsen was a stud: he knocked out 15 Hall of Fame seasons (14 of them All-Pro) without missing a game.  Retired and bored, Merlin figured, "I can handle a feeble 'acting' gig on Little House on the Prairie--how could THAT end in my eternal undoing?"   What were you doing, NBC?  Feeding the Little House cast insulation sandwiches with a side order of floor tile cobbler?   Or was the 'Prairie' really an abandoned nuclear waste disposal site?  Hope you like u235, Melissa Gilbert!   If you think it's a coincidence that Michael Landon is also hitchhiking his way up the Highway to Heaven, think again.

Let's review:  Merlin Olsen, AWESOME.  NBC: Shit-eating douches.

The Crippler and Irish Car Bomb both score 31 points. This is Irish Car Bomb's debut score in her first year with DeathWatch, so congratulations, ICB!  Leno blows juvenile goats.

Get Outta My Dreams (Get Into My Coffin)

Actor Corey Haim finally passed his 'dying test' this morning, after decades of practice overdoses finally prepared him for the real thing.  Haim and his seemingly interchangeable eight-time co-star, Corey Feldman, met on the set of Lost Boys.  They scored some blow, partied to True Hollywood Story proportions, and released a couple of other "comedies" in theaters before their fame started to wane.  There was no quit in these two, though.  And by 'no quit,' I mean that neither of them wanted to have to actually work for a living.  Haim and Feldman parlayed their brief celebrity into two decades of releasing quality straight-to-video productions like Blown Away and Last Resort.  In recent years, the substance-abusing friends tried to turn their spectacular failures in life into a success with the production of the now inappropriately-named reality series, The Two Coreys, which has to be seen to be properly appreciated (read: train wreck).


A grieving Corey Feldman (if you're scoring at home--he's the dark-haired one who's still alive), reflected on the duo's recipe for box office success, saying, "We thundered onto the scene and commanded attention.  We were all like, 'Check THIS out--we're two guys, we're both the same age, we're both Jewish Americans, we're both actors, AND to top it off, we're BOTH named Corey!'  I mean, it's hilarious before we've even said word one of the script!  See, you're laughing already!  Then there's the whole 'Which Corey is which' bit...Face it, we were fucking amazing."

No Deathwatchers picked either of The Two Coreys, and missed out a juicy 62 points.  It's weird, because much like the punchline to any Haim/Feldman joke, who DIDN'T see this coming?