Father Dowling's History

Sunday, Monday: Bosley's dead.
Tuesday, Wednesday: He's still dead.
Thursday, Friday:  Dead, dead, dead.
Saturday, there's decay, bury this bastard soon!

Veteran actor Tom Bosley passed away today at the age of 83.  Despite former castmate Henry Winkler's multiple resuscitation attempts (measured chest raps preceeded by kunckle blowing), Bosley was unable to be revived. It turns out that lung cancer is a little trickier to fix than a flaky jukebox.

The fatherly advice-dispensing "Mr. C." to an entire generation of Happy Days fans, Bosley labored heavily as straight man and moral compass to an entire cast of wannabe comedians.  In the years after Happy Days, Bosley would push his acting range to the limit, playing the titular role of Father Francis Dowling in the thriller The Father Dowling Mysteries.  Bosley, a Jewish man, once claimed that he considered dabbling in pederasty to help him prepare for his role as a crime-solving Catholic priest.  Show producers credited The Boz with the idea of giving Dowling a street-smart nun sidekick with a man's name.  The electric on-screen combination would turn out to be television gold.

As Bosley himself "goes upstairs," perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of life will finally be solved: what REALLY happened to his disappearing on-screen son, Chuck Cunningham?  On the topic of his on-screen family, Bosley's last words, spoken in a telephone interview this morning, were, "Erin Moran is batshit crazy."*

The consummate pitchman to the end, Bosley will fulfill his contract with Proctor & Gamble by having his remains interred in a puncture-proof 45-gallon Glad ForceFlex(TM) Contractor Bag.

No happy days for DeathWatchers as they were unable to predict Bosley's life "jumping the shark" this year.  Even with the help of Sister Steve, they still would have found themselves missing out on this 17 point clue.

*He may not have really said this. But seriously, she's crazy.  Like certifiable!

Spartacorpse

Gay? I don't fucking think so.

Why go with "Spartacorpse" as the headline to announce the death of movie icon Tony Curtis? 'Cause it's short, it's pithy and it just works, dammit.

Yeah, we could've used "Some Like It Dead." That might have been a good way to let folks know that the veteran actor died today at the age of 85. But it just wasn't good enough.

Sure. If you'd seen a headline that said, "Yonder Lies the Casket of My Fadder," you'd have gotten the message that Jamie Lee Curtis's old man had kicked it. But it might not have done a good enough job rousing images of Lawrence Olivier trying to do Curtis in the keister.

No, no. Spartacorpse is the only headline good enough for you, the players of DW2K10. Especially you, Crippler, the only player to score those 15 sweet, sweet points. Enjoy 'em.

Don't Let the Coffin Lid Hit You in the Ass on the Way Out

Adios, dickhead.

Congrats to Deady Money, You Die and The Oracle for their 20 point score.

Splendid American

Cartoonist Harvey Pekar died today at the age of 70. No DW2K10 players had him on their lists and he was far too awesome to make fun of. The latest shitty thing to happen to Cleveland.

The Grim Reaper "Smokes a Bol"

Manute Bol, NBA basketball shot blocker and tireless advocate for the Sudan has died at an estimated 47 years old, from a rare and brutal skin condition.   Bol, pictured here with diminutive teammate Muggsy Bogues, was born to a Sudanese tribe, and legend has it, had once killed a lion with a spear!  Bol's first passport photo listed him at 5'7", not 7'7", because he was measured sitting down.  (This still made him 4 inches taller than Bogues.)

Billy Crystal could not be reached for comment.  Crystal, who filmed the cinematic blockbuster "My Giant" with Gheorghe Mureşan, had big plans for Bol's legendary anatomy.  Crystal was in talks to exploit Bol's ridiculous size AND country in the upcoming comedy/action sequel, "My Giant, Too:  Darfurious" 


None of our DeathWatchers chose the intrepid dead bushman, and 53 points go unclaimed.

Thank You for Being a Corpse

The Golden Girl Curse claimed another victim last week as actress Rue McClanahan died at the age of 76. McClanahan, who played Blanche, the "slutty senior citizen"--*shudder*--died under mysterious circumstances, leading many to believe that she may have been the victim of a maniacal Betty White. White, it's been said, is crazy, strong and has a hard-on for offing former castmates. "I will be the last Golden Girl," White is quoted as saying, "and all of their life energy will keep me young eternally! [Maniacal laughter]"

Whatever the actual cause of McClanahan's death, Irish Car Bomb, Talking Deads and The Grim Reaper all collect the 24 points from her passing.

Reeves and Bullock Vow to Keep Hopper's Hearse Above 50 MPH

OK, so this isn't really a post about Dennis Hopper being dead (though he still is), just a cool headline without a supporting story.  

This post is really a note to say that the scores have finally been updated, and there have been a lot of changes to the leaderboard! 

Notes:  

*Newcomer Irish Car Bomb leads Wednesday by just a senior citizen.  It's still anyone's game, with the always-dangerous CRIPPLER lurking just behind!    ICB and Wed. were both propelled to the top by weekend scores of BOTH Coleman AND Hopper!

*A shout-out to the Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom, who has finally scored for the first time ever in competition (four years?)!  

*The Shadow and Kerberos are the only two players to not have any correct predictions at the 1/3 mark of the competition.   

*Mr. Black was the only person to correctly predict the May demise of Ronnie James "Holy Die-r" Dio.  

*The Return of Roger Mortis slapped a seeing-eye single for 8 points with Ernie Harwell last month.

Check your lists and scores.  If you notice any mistakes, please contact me.  At the time of this writing, I consider all lists and scores to be current and up-to-date.

Big thanks to the Shadow for picking up the writing while I was out of town stifling souls in Charlotte for Grimmorial Day Weekend!

--Grim