NBC Cancels "Father Murphy" PERMANENTLY

NFL player-turned-actor Merlin Olsen died today at 69, from mesothelioma given to him by NBC's asbestos.  Nice work, NBC. As if getting rid of Conan didn't make you look bad enough.  At least Conan can come back on another network.

Look, Olsen was a stud: he knocked out 15 Hall of Fame seasons (14 of them All-Pro) without missing a game.  Retired and bored, Merlin figured, "I can handle a feeble 'acting' gig on Little House on the Prairie--how could THAT end in my eternal undoing?"   What were you doing, NBC?  Feeding the Little House cast insulation sandwiches with a side order of floor tile cobbler?   Or was the 'Prairie' really an abandoned nuclear waste disposal site?  Hope you like u235, Melissa Gilbert!   If you think it's a coincidence that Michael Landon is also hitchhiking his way up the Highway to Heaven, think again.

Let's review:  Merlin Olsen, AWESOME.  NBC: Shit-eating douches.

The Crippler and Irish Car Bomb both score 31 points. This is Irish Car Bomb's debut score in her first year with DeathWatch, so congratulations, ICB!  Leno blows juvenile goats.